Spoiler alert. If you have not watched Battleship and do not want to know how it ends, read no further. But really, even if you haven’t seen it, you do know how it ends.
Thursday’s is my ‘early’ day. I go into work early and get to leave early. Usually I make the most of the extra hour and a half in the afternoon to do very important stuff, like cut my hair or look for a handbag that my Galaxy tab will fit into. When I don’t have very important stuff to do, I usually race out of Sandton to avoid peak hour traffic and get home nice and early.
Since I cut my hair last week and have given up ever finding the very specific bag I have in mind, I decided that I’d go to movies yesterday instead of rushing straight home. I knew that it was my last opportunity to see Battleship on the big screen.
It got off to a very bad start. I don’t quite know why but I found the hero, a guy called Hopper, breaking into a convenience store to the sound of the Pink Panther theme to steal a burrito for a chick he just met in a bar, irritating beyond belief. And it got unimaginably worse after that. It felt like they were trying too hard to make this guy look like an idiot. They succeeded and I was really wishing very hard that Hopper would hop right off the edge of the world. You know it is pretty bad when, 15 minutes into the movie, you’re looking at the time to see how much longer it is until the ‘idiot’ has killed all the aliens, saved the world and married the blonde burrito chick who he met in the bar.
Then enter Liam Neeson. Thank goodness – someone who can act and the story picks up a little from there. I was pleasantly surprised at a couple of lines (post the whole Pink Panther saga) that actually made me chuckle. There is lots of great big, thunderous, action smaction stuff – absolutely no surprises and that’s fine because we all know how these aliens -come -to -earth -and -the –good- guys-win movies go. We wouldn’t want it any other way. Unless of course you have an evil streak and want to see the big, bad, ugly aliens take over the world and do away with the human race.