A few weeks ago I received an e-mail from my cousin’s one week old daughter. I was as surprised as you that she could find the time between naps and feeds. Anyway, one of her requests was that I send her a good piece of advice every now and then. After today’s events I thougt I’d get this off to her as soon as possible. I mean if she’s e-mailing me already she’ll probably be driving by next week.
Dear Cousin’s Daughter
Here are 5 simple rules for a happy life.
1. Don’t ever, under any circumstances whatsoever, drive the boss’ car. Do not drive it even if you have no other way to get to an appointment with the President; to flee from an alien invasion; or even to satisfy a craving for white chocolate mousse.
2. Should you choose to ignore rule 1, then whatever happens, do NOT crash the boss’ car. Ever.
3. Should you choose to ignore rules 1 and 2, don’t expect your friend not to burst out into hearty, bellowing, uncontrollable laughter when she arrives at the scene of the accident. You’ll just be setting yourself up for disappointment in yourself that you did not choose better friends.
4. Always look on the bright side and remind yourself that it could have been the Porsche you’d backed up into instead of the pillar that now has a great big gash in it that spells out your name, or something similar, like ‘idiot’.
5. It is perfectly acceptable to open a bottle of sherry when you get home after crashing the boss’ car. If you don’t have sherry glasses, you may, under such circumstances, drink the sherry out a cup. A bowl of mom’s yummy bean soup followed by banana and custard is also highly recommended in such situations.
Now I’m not saying that any of this happened to me, it ‘s just some very common sense, practical, every day advice that randomly came to mind. I hope you will find it useful and that, even in some small way, it contributes toward you living a very long, happy and succesful life.